It’s women’s month and we are celebrating the wonderfully, glorious, fabulousness that is woman. It’s absolutely essential that I write something, so I decided to share a personally curated list of things you, as woman, can do this month to feel empowered. I believe that’s what women’s month is about – not beauty for others, not men noticing how much we do for them (which we all know is A LOT!). It’s about me, you, us, feeling empowered. It is about hearing our own voices, seeing our own glory and taking up space. It’s about knowing and seeing that we are so much more than what we’re given credit for, if the men notice it as well, that’s a bonus.
1. Put on that sexy lingerie.
Put it on. It’s not only for a special occasion. There doesn’t have to be a partner who can see it. If you already live by this principle, then I reverently bow to you, queen. It has changed so much in my life. I believe in power-dressing. On days that I feel like shit, I dress the complete opposite. I look fabulous and portray an air of superiority, “I’m sexy and I know it”. It turns heads and people compliment, but that isn’t why I do it. I do it because that changes my mindset. I feel in control again, I feel like I can conquer anything.
Lately I’ve started to include my underwear in this routine. I’ll wear super sexy panties and my most beautiful bra. This is amazing. Immediately I’ll feel like Carol Baskin the Tiger queen. Ok, I’m kidding, but I’ll feel like the sexiest and most powerful woman alive. This is not just for the special someone. WE NEED TO CHANGE OUR MINDSETS. Wear the special dress any day of the week, put on the super expensive lingerie when you go out grocery shopping. You deserve to feel fabulous while doing everything. Even if you think “I’m not that kind of girl” I dare you to try it at least once and then send me the thank you DM.
2. Go for a photoshoot.
I can hear you laughing already… “I am not a model”, “That is so silly, or pretentious, or a waste of money.” And to that I say, “shun the non-believer”.
I thought so. For the longest time I felt way too ugly and fat to ever try anything remotely close to a photo shoot. And then my beautiful friend, Melissa, introduced me to the idea and took so many wonderful photos that I wanted more and more.
Last week I scheduled an official shoot with her. We had an aesthetic, I had an outfit and throughout the planning phase the excitement grew. I cannot explain the feeling. It’s a deep knowing that you are beautiful and worthy. I sat in front of that camera, super nervous, doing many silly things and wishing I’d taken a shot of tequila before we started and then, then it changed.
It is as if my inner princess awoke and I needed more. Those two hours laying on a quilt in the middle of a public park I felt the most empowered I have in ages. Our beauty shines through, and we forget. We forget that we are beautiful, worthy of being seen. We forget to allow our inner princess to come to the fore, maybe we are not given many chances to do so. Life’s tough and we must be warrior queens more than beautiful princesses, but there is a time for that too. Allow yourself the opportunity for your beauty to be timelessly captured and celebrated. Don’t save it for a wedding day/ couples shoot/ friendship shoot… do it for you. Do a “just me” shoot. Book one today and when you get those photos celebrate each and every one!
3. Post it.
Share the photo you think is beautiful. Don’t worry about who will like it. Just share it. Share what captures who you are as a human.
I love sharing photos where I am laughing like I’m possessed, but that is the most beautiful, because its me. With the double chin and fat cheeks, with my rolls and all the blemishes on my skin. Why does it take a social media challenge for us to be real on social media? Be real. Trust your gut and fuck every person who cannot see the beauty that you truly are. Post the poem you wrote or your art you’ve always wanted to share, but were too scared people wouldn’t like, fuck them! Post the thoughts you have, share yourself. The world needs more of you, your authenticity and glory.
4. The next one might seem contradictory and not that foreign to you, but to me it was the biggest challenge – Go shopping without a bra.
I might be a late bloomer, but I’ve never done this (till yesterday). I hate my bra and it’s the first thing that comes off after I get home. I always find them in random places around the house! But before I would leave I’ll make sure to don it again. It’s important to go out looking presentable and in my mind that always included a bra. What if my future husband would be reaching for the milk when I do? Them titties need to look on point.
Thanks to lockdown and my newest fuck-that mentality I have decided that that’s all complete shit and yesterday I went to the shops without one. They were free. I felt free. The clasp has been released on my antique mindset and I don’t have to wear one if I don’t want to. Let’s burn the bra’s again?!
5. Get a (new) toy.
You know what I’m talking about. If you don’t have one, get one. If you have one splurge and get a new one. I bought one on a whim on Friday and it was HANDS DOWN the greatest thing I’ve done, ever! Okay we’ve established I exaggerate. My Instagram has been blowing up about sucking vibrators and it’s not fake news. Ladies, this will get you there so fast you will think you might never need a man again.
I went to town this weekend and might need to rest for the week and give Miss C some time to recover. It is not gross. It is not dirty. It is not desperate. Enjoying your body is a wonderful thing. Not only does it provide much needed release it also improves your sex with a partner because you learn more about what you need. You deserve to lay on the couch shaking all over and crying out with pleasure. That is empowerment. That is you choosing you.
6. Go sit with little you.
The last one, and probably most important to me. Take an evening, some wine, a journal and Cheese Curls, and ask your seven-year-old self to join the party, you brought cheese curls for her, so she has to. You might be thinking, “what crazy new age shit is this?” and it sounds strange, but please bear with me. We live such hurried lives and do not always see how far we’ve come. What we’ve achieved or which dreams we’ve forgotten. Or maybe we get so caught up in pain and loss that we forget to look…
This exercise is amazing because it gives perspective. Ask her what she thinks about where you are now. Show your hurt to her and see it through her eyes. Show her your dreams and ask her about hers again. See how proud little you is of the woman your are. I promise she will be astounded. She might be shocked about some things 😉, and ask you to leave some things with her when you stand up, but you will remember who you are, the strength you have and dream again of where you will go. You will be proud to be you and love yourself more. The journal is to write some things down, we tend to forget – don’t be lazy.
There is so much more I can add, and there might be things you can say that I did not mention here. Please help me to continue the conversation by adding what makes you feel empowered, strong and beautiful in the comments below. And if you’ve tried something on my list this women’s month, DM me @anneke_actually, I would love to know! Together we can celebrate what it means to be wonderfully, gloriously, fabulously woman this women’s month.