We all know how awkward it can be when we realise the person we’re texting doesn’t know their theirs from their theres, or even their they’res for that matter (gosh that was hard to write). While it’s pretty common to make a typing error when your clumsy fingers tap the “a” instead of the “s” key and then just roll with whatever havoc autocorrect wreaks after that, there are a few pretty common English language mistakes that a lot of people make – which often fly under the radar. Here’s a list of a few that’ll ensure that you don’t make those same mistakes again (unless autocorrect makes them for you).
1. “I could care less”
This first one should be fairly obvious, and for that reason it’s one of the most frustrating mistakes to hear.
Stating that you could care less implies that you do, in fact, still care – at least a little. The correct version of this phrase would be “I couldn’t care less”, which means “my capacity to care is currently at 0%” – implying that you don’t care at all. Somehow Americans in particular have managed to get this confused and often end up telling people they do care about things they really couldn’t give a damn about.
2. “I” and “me”
People love to pop “I” at the end of a sentence like “my parents bought presents for my sister and I”, or “Do you wanna see a movie with Sam and I?”. If you’re one of these people I’m sorry to tell you that somewhere along the way you have been misled.
A simple way to correct this is to remove the other person from the sentence and see if it still makes sense. It’s obvious that “my parents bought presents for I” and “Do you wanna see a movie with I” sound awkward and clumsy, so why is it that so many of us want to change the entire sentence just because we’ve added another person to the mix?
Likewise, using “me” as the subject of a sentence such as “Me and Sam went to the mall” should in fact be “Sam and I went to the mall”. If you wouldn’t say “me went to the mall” then don’t do so just because you’ve invited Sam to join you.
3. “Piece of mind”
If you’re upset with someone, and want to scold them for something they’ve done, you could give them a piece of your mind – a stern talking to or an angry email usually does the trick. However, if you’re trying to help someone stop worrying about something, or make them feel secure, you want to give them peace, right? So you’ll be giving them peace of mind rather than that angry email.
4. “Wet your appetite”
I can understand how to “wet” someone’s appetite could conjure up images of them salivating hungrily before a meal. However, the spelling you’re looking for is “whet” which means to make something sharper. So if you whet someone’s appetite, you’re making them keen or eager for something – you’re not actually making them drool all over the place.
5. Have I “peaked” your interest?
While the spelling of peak may seem like you’ve taken someones interest to new heights, the correct phrase is actually to pique someone’s interest. The word “pique” means to arouse to stimulate, so if you’re arousing someone’s interest in a subject, that’s the word you’re looking for. Fortunately they sounds the same, so this blunder can go unnoticed when it’s spoken.
6. Sneak Peak
Similarly, a peak is the top of a mountain, so if you’re talking about a sneak peak, you may be referring to a mountain showing up ahead of you unexpectedly – although they aren’t known t move very quickly. If you’re talking about giving someone a look at something, though, you’ll need to use the word “peek”.
7. For all “intensive purposes”
“Intensive purposes” sound like very thorough purposes which, honestly, doesn’t make much sense. You’d be a lot better off – and less embarrassed – if you use “for all intents and purposes”, meaning “for all the reasons I did this – all my intents and all of the outcomes”.
8. One “foul swoop”
“At one fell swoop” means “suddenly; in a single action”, and it’s frequently confused with a number of things – “one foul swoop“, or “one fowl swoop” to name a few.
The word “fell” here is no longer used the way it was before the 13th century, and that may be why the phrase has somehow taken on a host of different spellings and bird imagery. That being said, the word you want in this common cliche is definitely “fell”, meaning ‘fierce, savage; cruel, ruthless; dreadful, terrible’. The phrase was either coined by or made popular by William Shakespeare, and the poor man would probably turn over in his grave if he heard us talking about “fowl swoops”.
9. Should of, would of, could of
All of these should have been written with “have” instead of “of”. This can sound confusing in spoken language, when the contracted “should’ve” is commonly used instead of the clearly enunciated “should have”. Nevertheless, it is what it is, so check yourself.
10. Just desserts
If this conjures up images of cakes and puddings, you’re on the wrong page. As in the case of “one fell swoop”, just deserts uses a word that isn’t common outside of this phrase. We often write “just desserts” because that’s how we pronounce it, but in fact “deserts” refers to an archaic form of the word deserve – with one s – and not chocolate swiss rolls or dusty sand dunes. If someone got what was coming to them, they got their just deserts.
English is complicated, and it doesn’t always seem to make much sense. It’s especially tricky after the age of old black and white mobile phones that taught us all to write with numbers instead of letters – in between playing games of snake.
We do still live in a world in which written communication is extremely important and used on a daily basis. For that reason, it’s crucial that you know how to say what you’re trying to say in a way that makes sense. It’s horribly awkward, for example, when you’ve tried to break up with an ex you can no longer stand, but you’ve told them “you could care less” about them.
To prevent this and other miscommunications, pay careful attention to the common English language mistakes mentioned above and double check all your texts before you send them. And, if you won’t do it for you, at least give it a shot for my peace of mind.
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